I had always dreamed of owning my own cookie company! I had it on my heart for over a decade, but I was too scared to take a leap. What did I know about running a company? What made me so special? There were already SO many cookie companies out there. Why would someone want to pay for mine?!

I was really good at coming up with excuses as to why it would NOT work. I could have been crowned queen, if such award was to be had. LOL. I'm the greatest cheerleader for others, yet for me, I can be my own worst enemy.

I had DEFEAT written all over me.

Do you know who said those terrible things to me? ME! That's who! NO ONE ever said to me anything negative about how it would not work. It was me inside my head setting myself up for failure. Why? Cause I feared rejection. I somehow reasoned that if I rejected myself, then I could handle anything that life handed me. Messed up right?! Looking back now I realize it was my attempt to protect myself.

After years of self-work I now know it was really me coping with Childhood Trauma, trauma that we all have. Childhood Trauma often times gives us our strengths. Our strengths aren't actually gifts. We label them as such but in reality they are what kept us together. Operating in survival mode. I learned this later when I experienced BURN OUT.

You see, I was successful in my own right, however, true power came in when I gave up the reigns. When I started to see it was God who gave me my strength...

I was caught up in my own traps. I'd ask myself questions, most of which were around the theme of "HOW", and find myself lost in the land of, YEAH BUTS. I spent many years there... I had recieved the whispers, nudges and then came the KICK!

One month after the birth of our daughter Karly, David was let go from his position. At that time I was struggling with PPD and PTSD; this was the cherry on top. FEAR took over me. How were we going to survive?!

I was forced to rely on God.

Green handshakes were given. People were arriving at our house with meals and gifts. Our needs were being met. Even the Food Pantry where I served tried to offer up assistance. However, I was so prideful at the time. I thought, "We can figure this out! WE MUST."

One day when I was at the Food Pantry, Patricia picked up a brown bag and said, "fill it up." I refused. She then repeated herself and followed up with, "atleast do it for Karly" "Take some baby food and diapers Monica."

It was so humbling to be handed a bag and asked to fill it up.  

She proceeded to take the bag from me and filled it up with diapers and baby food jars and handed it to me. I was so overwhelmed, I could hardly contain my composure. But it was in that moment I KNEW God had me. He had always had me. I just needed to trust and see that he did.

It was that strength that gave me the UMPH to step out and follow my dream to create yumbitz. And he took care of the HOW. I plan to write a book all about that magical journey we took together. Where when I look back, I see it was He who was with me all along. It was He who allowed things to happen. I always felt they were happening to me. But now I KNOW they were happening FOR me.

When I look at the picture above I ask myself, HOW did all that happen? And then, one by one they show me how this opportunity led to the next, and so on and so forth. It's really cool. I smile when I see what he has done for me.

The How is the magic. The how is God's part. Ours is to believe it's possible and be willing to MOVE! To do whatever he asks of you and go where ever he tells you to.

What's the first step?! Get out of your own way!

Your mind is a battlefield. That's why its so important to be sure to safeguard your heart and fill your mind with TRUTH. Truth of who you are.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. On purpose for a purpose. You're fully equipped to do every good work. He goes before you, guides you and lives inside of you. You are not alone. I know that it is He who made all of this possible. And every set back was truly a set up. Things work for you not against you.

I can't wait to share with you just HOW he made it all possible. In the mean time I'm just going to sit here in "awe" of him. And all he has done and continues to do in my life. I know he's doing and has done the same for you. Sometimes we just need to be reminded. TO REMEMBER.